Dear Diary,

Creativity.. a good design
and not too commercial
i like independent brands

One little compliment can make you feel amazing. So give me a compliment, anything in the entire world, even that my shoelaces are pretty. Put this in your journal. And once you get some comments, put that entry in a memory or tag and when you are feeling down, just go to that entry and this will remind how great you are. [ Stolen from thepurpleletiger

My computer and my cell phone. I arrange EVERYTHING through txt or chat. I hardly ever make a phone call

Through my 18 years of living with my mother [and my father, but i dont have any problems with him] some aspects of her behavior started to become conscious. Attitudes that i never really cared, but that after so many years they started to really bother me.

For quite a long time, when we were having dinner or lunch, i imagined myself taking the knife that was on my right and stabbing her to death. Yes, i know, im insane. But i couldnt help it. She can turn a wonderful day into shit with just a simple comment [which BTW are always negative].

So, i guess the only reason i could EVER say that my life sucks it's because of my mother. The other aspects are just fine. I have my friends and my boyfriend and a life that i enjoy. So most of the times im a pretty happy person.

One thing that no-one seems to understand its my stupid moods. Im a bit bipolar, and i get hurt very easily. Even the stupidest joke can turn my face into tears, even though i KNOW that its a joke. It depends also in WHO says it. With my closest friends y have no problem, cause we're always picking on each other (:. But with my boyfriend its different, cause it happens the same to him.

I guess im surrounded by freaks :P.
My freaks, and i love them. They make this life a little less stressful.

Talking about them: we started to see each other again this last 3 days. And it has been amazing.

After some fights/complications we lost touch. But suddenly its like we left all behind, and we're older now, but we keep on acting like little silly kids sometimes. We always remember the good all times in the park, sitting around waiting for the little kids to get off the park games so we could go and play.

And tonight was a really good night. We went to the movies and had dinner and some drinks. My Sickgirl got a little dizzy and was all hyper and stuff. With Dani we were horny and begging to have our boyfriends there. And Ale & Dem were just doing sexy things between each other [and there's pictures.. muahahaha]

Im getting tired now... so i guess im going to sleep, so tomorrow i wont be soooo tired.

Behind the camera definately.
I love photography.

Its amazing how sometimes when you're down listening to depressing music makes you feel better right away.

I could never understand it. Why is it that when im angry [for example] i listen to some black metal songs and feel so relieved? I guess that in some way lyrics help you get out of your chest every feeling without hesitation, doubts or shame.

When i created this LJ, and going through choosing the name, i immediately went through My chemical Romance first cd track list. Unlucky me... all the choices i made already exist, so i went for their last album, which isnt my favorite of all, but its Mcr, what can i say.

I listened to the band 3 years ago and their music just changed who i was, and helped me go through a rough time of my life. I realized that the way i was acting, wasnt exactly who i really were, but who my parents wanted me to be, and watching the Helena video for the first time, for some strange reason a "click" rang inside of me and said "hey, this is not you and you know it"

So since then i've been living the way i always wanted. Of course, it's difficult for my parents, but i really dont care anymore. I have amazing friends and a wonderful boyfriend who love me for how and who i am TODAY and i've always wondered what would have happened if i'd never met Mcr... Where would i be now?, Who would i be now?. Their songs crashed into my head and expressed physically for the better. I will never forget those days back then when my parents where fighting and i just locked myself in my room and listened to I brought you my bullets... and Three cheers... over and over again.

Now a days, fights still happened almost everyday, but somehow i learned not to listen, and not to care, cause i realized that they will never stop. I tried to help them, but then they just start criticizing me.

I dont expect to live inside a bubble, cause im very aware of what happens around me, i just choose not to do nothing. Someday soon i will move out of here, situation which my mother makes everyday harder, she still says "you're never grate full of all that we give you"

But i guess that's a subject to discuss in the next entry...